Economics, It’s What’s for Dinner

My annual review and predictions didn’t cover the economic situation, and you may wonder why. Then again, you may not, but that’s not my problem.

The reason was that I couldn’t find anything funny to say about the economic situation.

I’m not alone in this, but there you are. I wanted the predictions to have some humor.

When it comes to economics, I do have some strong opinions. (Other people have biases; I have strong opinions.)

I’m in favor of the cooperative economic model.

“Why is that?” you ask.

And I’m so glad you did. Otherwise I’d have to shut up and sit down. Fortunately, I’m already sitting, and shutting up is unlikely.

Well, to answer your question, it’s because the cooperative model operates on the odd assumption that everyone in an economic transaction should benefit.

“What a thought,” you comment. “Who came up with this contrary notion?”

Again, so glad you asked. (As my actress mother always told me, it works so much better when the other fellow knows his lines.)

It certainly wasn’t the capitalists who thought it up. They benefit from their economic model because they’re rich. (Scratch a poor capitalist and you’ll find a dreamer longing to be rich.)

Nor was it the communists, who don’t benefit from anything but totalitarian rule, as nearly as I can tell. And these days, they only benefit from that in isolated, virtually insular, cases.

Nor the socialists, who generally don’t benefit at all, being too entrenched in saving others from capitalism. (I’m not saying this is bad, just that it’s not very profitable.)

No, the cooperative form of economic dealings eschews all that. And please don’t bless me for sneezing; I mean that the cooperative model is just plain different.

“And how is it different?” you continue to help me out by asking.

Well, being based on the notion that everyone involved in a transaction should benefit, this model requires us to pay more for goods and services than it cost to produce them.

No more making shoes for $1.50 a pair, selling them for $1.25 a pair, and making up the difference on the volume. After deducting entertainment expenses and bonuses. (Don’t laugh; this is how banking systems have been working lately. Thirty years ago, it was how insurance companies worked.)

The cooperative economic model also requires that the business transaction do no serious harm to those not involved in the transaction.

Such as destroying the environment on their planet.

Well, you can see why that hasn’t caught on.

But I still favor it. Silly me. Want to join me?