Stop Being Poor!
That's right! All you poor folks who are getting way too sick before you go to the doctor or hospital, all you poor folks who are eating all the wrong things because healthy food is too expensive, all you poor folks who are smoking, drinking, or using street drugs because you need to face your life in a fog just to be able to face it at all – all of you just stop being poor! Your health problems will be solved!
Amazingly simple! Healthcare costs in all the major city hospitals will drop dramatically! The healthcare reform bill, which does not distinguish well between the needs of the rich and the needs of the poor, will work! The recent increases in health insurance that the insurance companies blame on the healthcare reform bill won't be necessary. They'll continue, but they won't be necessary, and that's the main thing. Why? Because there won't be any poor!
You poor people must quit your selfish adherence to poverty. Just stoppit.
I know it'll take a while; there's a lot of inertia from the rich and well-placed that you'll need to overcome. But don't be daunted. Here are the five simple steps to stopping your dependence on poverty – with a few necessary sub-steps, naturally:
1. Find jobs that pay better.
1.a. To do this, you may have to get somebody to recognize that you can't acutally stop being poor unless you have income from a single, full-time job that is 200% of the current poverty level or more.(2)
1.b. To get a raise to above the laughably low poverty level, you may need to unionize your workplace. To do that you may have to overcome a few problems, but nobody said this was going to be easy. Just simple.
1.b.i. Find a workplace.
1.b.ii. Seek a union that is acceptable to both you and your employer.
1.b.iii. If attempting 1.b.ii. results in your losing access to that workplace, find another workplace.
1.b.iv. Repeat 1.b.ii. and 1.b.iii. as necessary.
2. Make sure your increased income includes the benefits necessary to keep you out of poverty.
2.a. Since half or more of all bankrupcies are due at least in part to the cost of healthcare, you'll need to have health insurance.
2.b. And a primary healthcare provider who makes sure you get high quality healthcare so you can keep working.
2.b.i. As necessary, see 1. b., iv., above.
3. Start eating better – whole grains, lean meats with minimal processing, fresh fruits and vegetables that don't have too many toxic pesticides still in them.
3.a. Some of your fruits and vegetables will need to be organically grown so you can avoid toxic pesticides, but the extra cost is only about double, and believe me, it's worth it.
3.b. You may need to move to a different neighborhood where healthier food is available.
4. See your primary healthcare provider for regular check-ups and health maintenance.
4.a. If your insurance does not pay for check-ups you'll need to pay for them out-of-pocket because in addition to keeping you healthy, these check-ups lower healthcare costs for the rest of us, which is, of course, the point.
4.b. Make sure your income is sufficient to cover health maintenance costs. (See, for example, 1.b., above.)
5. Make the other lifestyle changes that your improved economic outlook and sense of well-being allow.
5.a. Plan for a healthy, loving home environment for your future family before embarking on puberty.
5.a.i. Some attention to your mental health may be necessary to overcome some of the misadventures of your childhood or to stop consuming or otherwise using some substance that is detrimental to your health.(3)
5.a.ii. In some cases, you will perceive a sort of chicken-and-egg phenomenon where you will need to complete step 5 before attempting step 1 but can't afford step 5 until step 1 is accomplished. Just do your best. You're sort of on your own here.
5.b. Make sure your children do the same - that is to say, all of the above. This will do much to eliminate that pesky multi-generational poverty thing.
With our simple 5-point plan, the entire US could be on its way to reduced healthcare costs and true healthcare reform.
Don’t thank the Trailing Edge for generously offering this simple solution. Just envisioning the millions of no-longer-poor healthy, happy children that the tens of millions of no-longer-poor parents can afford to nurture, feed, and love is thanks enough.
Footnotes:
(1) We've always said that one of the advantages of always being late is that we get to hear lots of different viewpoints before making a decision. Of course, we lose lots of potential friends and miss out on lots of useful information, but no system is perfect.
(2) For those of us who are arithmetically challenged, this means that to stop being poor, your income has to be twice what the US Federal government currently defines as being poor. The US government is changing this definition, for statistical purposes at least, but why wait? For those of us who don't know what "arithmetically challenged" is, as a prerequisite to step 1 (that is to say, before undertaking Step 1) you'll need to find somebody rich to support you while you go back to school.
(3) You will likely need to pay for these mental health services yourself, as most insurers include only nominal, inadequate coverage for mental healthcare. In addition, if you happen to reside in one of the states that is medically underserved (that is, there are not enough mental healthcare providers anywhere in the state), you may need to relocate and begin again at Step 1.
Coming soon: How to eliminate inequities due to gender, age, education, and inherited country or countries of origin: Be a young, male, college graduate of predominantly Western European ancestry!
