Rising Gas Prices?

Now that summer is almost officially here, we at the Trailing Edge are thinking about getting ready for it. As it turns out, thinking about it is pretty much all we can do. For instance, we thought about taking one of our periodic treks into the uncharted (by us) vastness of the US highway system. Then we thought about the three figure gas prices. Then we thought about our failure to ever attain a three-figure salary. So we turned our thoughts to the partially-charted vastness of our back yard.

And then it struck us. There is a solution to the rising gas prices, the summertime desire to get away from it all, and the failure of the US auto industry to understand the need for vehicles that are at least slightly more fuel efficient than a European half-ton pick-up truck.

Our stellar idea:

Turn your gas guzzler into functional yard art.

For example:

** Grow an environmentally sound, organic flower garden in and around your recreational, all terrain, armored tank.
The weeding alone will keep you happily occupied all summer.

** Put your SUV up on blocks, run electricity from the house, and convert it over to a rec room for the kids.
Gone are the day camp fees and the “turn that thing off and go outside” fights.

** Remove the body, invert it, set it in the ground, and use it for a kiddie pool.
Think of it as your mechanical/hydro-electric engineering project for the summer.

** Set the chassis, engine block and seats intact, in the sunniest spot in the yard.
Your cats can sun themselves and use the seats for scratching and nesting.

We’ve just thought of these few applications, but we’re sure you can come up with many, many more. Post your ideas here! Your property line is the limit! (Together with any structure, height, and size restrictions.)

Maybe we should have a contest…

The Trailing Edge will accept decommissioned recreational tanks for use as consolation prizes, but can not be responsible for transportation costs.

If you think our energy use isn't funny, check out some sustainable living ideas, with historical perspective, here. Or look up "THE DENIAL INDUSTRY," published in The Guardian on Tuesday September 19, 2006. The article gives an edited extract from Heat, by George Monbiot, published by Allen Lane. Whatever you do, don't read about what's happening to the Kyoto accord. It will just depress you.