How Many Politicians

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?


No, really. You may be thinking this is like the “how many programmers” lightbulb joke. (Answer: No number is sufficient; it’s a hardware problem.) That would be a reasonable thought (or a lame joke; your call). But I’m thinking this issue would call for legislative action (and another lame joke, of course).

First, the bipartisan committee would have to be formed and named something appropriate (say, the Committee for Bipartisan Upkeep of Legislative Lighting while Safeguarding Health and Impact…etc.). Then, the Co-BULL..etc. debate could proceed about wattage, variety (fluorescent or incandescent would be a key issue here and would probably require input from the joint legislative committee on energy policy), contracting requirements, and so on.

By that time, several days would have passed. So someone in Maintenance, who doesn’t have a healthcare plan, a retirement job lined up, or expensive advertising to help keep his or her job, has already changed the bulb. So the committee could debate whether a change of focus is necessary or the Co-BULL…etc. should continue, in anticipation of the next Lighting Fixture Maintenance Event.

In case you're wondering why yet another back-to-back post, my planned tasks for the week are to complete a peer review, work on an annotated bibiliography, clean out my files, and do bookkeeping.

Rising Gas Prices?

Now that summer is almost officially here, we at the Trailing Edge are thinking about getting ready for it. As it turns out, thinking about it is pretty much all we can do. For instance, we thought about taking one of our periodic treks into the uncharted (by us) vastness of the US highway system. Then we thought about the three figure gas prices. Then we thought about our failure to ever attain a three-figure salary. So we turned our thoughts to the partially-charted vastness of our back yard.

And then it struck us. There is a solution to the rising gas prices, the summertime desire to get away from it all, and the failure of the US auto industry to understand the need for vehicles that are at least slightly more fuel efficient than a European half-ton pick-up truck.

Our stellar idea:

Turn your gas guzzler into functional yard art.

For example:

** Grow an environmentally sound, organic flower garden in and around your recreational, all terrain, armored tank.
The weeding alone will keep you happily occupied all summer.

** Put your SUV up on blocks, run electricity from the house, and convert it over to a rec room for the kids.
Gone are the day camp fees and the “turn that thing off and go outside” fights.

** Remove the body, invert it, set it in the ground, and use it for a kiddie pool.
Think of it as your mechanical/hydro-electric engineering project for the summer.

** Set the chassis, engine block and seats intact, in the sunniest spot in the yard.
Your cats can sun themselves and use the seats for scratching and nesting.

We’ve just thought of these few applications, but we’re sure you can come up with many, many more. Post your ideas here! Your property line is the limit! (Together with any structure, height, and size restrictions.)

Maybe we should have a contest…

The Trailing Edge will accept decommissioned recreational tanks for use as consolation prizes, but can not be responsible for transportation costs.

If you think our energy use isn't funny, check out some sustainable living ideas, with historical perspective, here. Or look up "THE DENIAL INDUSTRY," published in The Guardian on Tuesday September 19, 2006. The article gives an edited extract from Heat, by George Monbiot, published by Allen Lane. Whatever you do, don't read about what's happening to the Kyoto accord. It will just depress you.

Thinking Positive

Today’s Frank & Ernest cartoon pointed out that blogs focus on the negative. Sad but true. However, back here at the Trailing Edge, we don’t have to follow the pack – at least not too closely. So we can focus on the positive:

Positively reported in today’s news:

Responding to the crisis in temporary (i.e., 18 months, for some) (and counting) child care for women in temporary (i.e., less than 19 months – so far) custody, Massachusetts, one of the states involved, sent social workers to interview incarcerated women in Texas to find out whether their children have appropriate care. These women are being held on suspicion of being in the U.S.A. illegally (remember the Swift Sweeps on December 12, 2006?), and, presumably, are up-to-date on the care status of their children.

[Oops, that was pretty negative and sarcastic – I’m just getting used to this positive stuff. Better start providing links to the news, too.]

Nearing the end of his five-day, multi-nation tour south of the border, President Bush had a favorable reception today in Guatamala City.

“The earlier-than-usual arrival of daylight-saving time confused only the odd computer and annoyed only the occasional human,” which is – I think we can all agree – far better than confusing the normal computer or annoying the frequent human.

Science News picked up the Reuters report on the use of discarded cooking oil to run your car or heat your home. The article describes “a small industry of conversion kit installers, [including]some [who] also supply the oil for their customers.”

And last, but not least, in an attempt to change its image as an uncaring and greedy giant, Wal-Mart plans to sell sustainable electronics – built and sold, no doubt, by persons enjoying the benefits of sustainable employment practices.

Which brings us back to the sweeps, doesn’t it? And to me being snide. Ah, so much of our existence is circular. In the noble (translated) words of Eugene Ionesco, “Take a circle, pet it, and it will become vicious.”

Coming soon: New Definitions for the Trailing Edge Dictionary - Reader Survey...


In keeping with today’s positive theme, I’m asking for positive feedback on this blog. I think you can now post comments without revealing personal information or joining any group (I’m almost positive about that).

Take care. Write if you get work (as they used to say during the Great Depression) that has health insurance benefits (as we say now).